monday night

i know why i cant study...cause im a fucking g...i dont need to ;) hahahhaa...i mean fuck that shit, when i need to i can, but i know i can get by and get what i always get with shit all studied...cause you know what...i dont need that

i love spicy dinners i make for myself...and capping it with vodka and cranberry/red bull that the gray man brings is always a fucking party....chillin at the crib till 3 am....shiiiit.

so a scarier thing happened....i was up big in raquetball....like 11-5....13-6....and i lost 13-15...to eddie, and he won one game today...thats one more then i like esp when i had him. but why? cause i was nervous....the turn came when she came....just like the game before...down 11-6....she leaves...i won 12-15....i mean what is up with that...not cool....what a lil bitch i am.

spicy stirfry with onions, and thrown on with dirty rice mix...too sick...mmm mmmm m....i think thats my favorite new set of words...mmmm mmm m....hell yeah....and i hate the fact that the grey man stole my way of writing with the .... that shit is my signature line, cause i mean fuck grammar, lest i feel like seeing a commma for shits, and, giggles, like, right, now,....cause i can.

despite how it seems i aint drunk, had 2 cups...but like its 3 am and im on a grand total of like 10 hours of sleep in 3-4 days...like 4 hours on friday night, 3 hours on saturday, 4 hours on sunday...so thats 11...i mean wtf....i used to sleep 11 a day...i mean i gotta get with this sleep shit again.

i get to meet my mentor on friday, a week late, i mean whatever, but his resume is impressive...and more intresting company then what i originally assumed reading the name we are meeting at starbucks which is funny i seem to be there alot these days like jen loves starbucks and apparantly thats the place to be i feel so damn yank i have been to starbucks like 5 times in first 3 years and atleast 10 times in last month these damn women and mentors making us just be like pussys hahhaha eddie will love this one

led zep is sick...

shine on you crazy diamonds...

alex is into 10 minutes of passion he is about to cry cause i changed achilles last stand but i put on going to california and he is back to being black and happy hahaha my favorite oreo....

word.

I dont know whats going on, i cant focus, i have no motivation, no will, no nothing. there is not a thing pushing me to study for this test i have to make up tommorow morning, i am about to go play poker and fuck around at rodrigo's house when i should be studying, and yet i dont care. I just dont care. Isnt that something. Makes me wonder whats up with me.

Seems that my head has been taken over and i dont know how to get it back....i miss motivation.

Its strange, i can run 4 miles alone, around a track and never for a second think about quitting or not doing it. I can will myself to work 9 hours in the sun on 2 hours of sleep, hit up the gym, and party all night....yet i cannot for the life of me put my head down, answer 10-15 questions, and read 30-40 pages. Its so strange, i have changed.....physically im in tip top shape....mentally i cannot focus....is this seniorities...or as mark says....its something else "ti sei innamorato o cosa..." is what he says...but that cant be it.

i just need to will myself...so since im such a lazy prat...i will pay for it tonight...no sleep....just straight up work....cause i gotta get this shit.

aint blowing that 3.84 now!

and i love borrowing i-pods....they are too sick