so i have lately been informed that there may be doubt as to my capabilities as a writer, based on my text messagining skills....what utter rubbish ;)
speaking of text messaging skills, i always though eddie was nuts to waste like 1000 a month, but lately since i have them free till like october 18th, i have been wasting a good 50-75 a day. like what the fuck, and its all on bullshit, meaningless shite, just cause im bored, and then i get into an aim/msn/gmail like convo....its so strange....how am i ever going to adapt back to limited text messagining.
11 days till the old man gets here, and that makes my month, i cant wait to see the chavale, and get him absolutely positively retarted so that he wont be able to walk, speak, mummble or stand. i want him to know that zrce was nothing compared to this....i also want him to stop me from putting too much cinnamon in the sangria, that was a total fuck up on my part....and it sucked.
Wise Owl has been gone this weekend and its been noticed, this is a small preview of what life post O is....and i dont know, having the Owl around now makes it hard to think that he will be gone soon...which blows.
Though tony is around, and even though he isnt up for 2-3 consecutive nights of mayhem and debauchery he is good for at least 2 a week, which makes him better then most people i know. Plus he is a great kid, cant belive i never met him in high school or anything like that....and he did wear an elephant shirt, im so sure of it. No matter what he says....ghettooo....hahahah...so far from it though, it really shows how off first impressions can be. But isnt it strange how you can get close to some people in a really short amount of time, and you feel as though you have known them for much longer...strange life can be.
i have an exam on monday for a class in finance, and i have no motivation to study for it, like none, im so pathetically lazy, its pathetic....
whats worse is that im in a game right now, and i broke a rule yesterday, i called, never a wise idea, then i broke a rule today, sent a message.....this game is not something im good at or enjoy playing, but it seems to be the way things will go...which sucks cause i really wanted to go to the beach, but i cant make the call. even though i know there was bikini shopping yesterday. so whats a boy to do....chin up and just let it flow baby...or try....
work was hectic, well not really im lying, the first 2 games were bloody awful i felt like it was special ed day at the YMCA, these kids were bonkers, like really i swear that some of them need to be taken in. No idea on anything, like we would repeat something 5-6 times and still on the 7th-50th times they would still fuck it up, no short term memory, and everything has to be like said over and over.....i mean wow....delinquents, but really is it their fault or their awful parents who cant do anything, a kid falls down and they rush the field in horror...jesus when did these kids become such pussys....i mean the babying of children is pathetic, and the constant encouragment despite thier shittyness is astounding...and it doesnt work, all the best teams have coaches who tear their kids a new one when they fuck up, those teams play the right way, they know the game, and they dont fuck up....all the softies....well they are pathetic. But yeah 9 games....and my legs felt like iron afterwards...on two hours of sleep...and you know what...id do it again, in a hearbeat. for the money. i was even ready to go running after work, sadly my jogging mate wasnt up for it, which leaves me confused as usual, but i know better then to ask too many questions, they never get you anywhere, or to call and wonder why. Really i only wanted to go jogging to hang out, and isnt that funny, when you are ready to do something just cause, you get to see the other person, it doesnt seem to make sense to me. its against everything i normally am. i do what i want to do, im lazy, and i have no intrest in running, save for when im angry and need to clear my head, and yet i love running. i adore it, as long as it comes with the partner.
next up on my list...drunken freshmen girls....all i can say is 'damn' thats so pathetic and sad that i really have nothing else to add. but im lying i do. its hillarious. i have never seen somebody try so hard and be so overbearing and annoying, or that desperate and total cliche....."i just wanna make out with you" what the fuck is that, what kind of respectable girl says that..."i wont tell anyone, i wont bug you the next day" thank god i managed to say i have a girlfrend and xabi got suck with those questions, but really....how akward...well not akward as much as dying of laughter funny for the rest of us (sergio and sandra)....xabi's face was priceless....and yes i like that word, is there something wrong with that....seems to almost be a crime...so here goes...priceless priceless priceless.....kind of like time spent with her. damn like why do i write that....seriously, im not even drunk...its 1 40 pm...im just typing as things flow into my head and i have decided not to edit anything and just let the concious stream take over....its not gonna be preety...i really hope only orlando reads this, and even then i hope he doesnt....but i will publish it....maybe i should take that facebook link to the blog off.....i dont know...anyways priceless freshman....they just encapsulate everything i though living on campus was when you are a first year....drinking and annoying horny girls who are getting drunk from 2 shots and wanna take out 18 years of frustration out....how sad. these kids need a different release, cause you should not have to drink to say what you want. you should always be able to be honest and true to yourself regardless of your state of inebreation or that of soberness. Which makes me wonder, how do you feel about yourself the moment after you utter what this girl did...like at what point does it set in that you are pathetic, and you realize, damn, just by saying that i made everyone notice that im 18 and immature, stupid, and totally unfit to be in the presence of these people, cause thats what it really is.
now that that concious stream is done, i am wondering if to call, and i know not to, and i have that test, but its sunny, and beach...beach....kite surf.....kite surf....man....
"Life is a one way street ain't it?
If you could paint it, I'd chalk myself going in the right direction.
So I go all the way.
Like I really really know, but the truth is, I'm only guessing."
and really it is, you always think you are going the right way, and so you forge ahead, and you know the truth, you are so convinced of it, and nothing will stop you.....you are almost there, but then, all of a sudden the smallest thing changes, you dont see a sign, or someone makes the most innocent of comments...and you realize in an instant, i am guessing, and i think im going the right way...am i...and doubt, doubt is a wonderful thing, it really works magically, all it has to do is take up one millisecond of your thought, and you are done, its over. finished. doubt ends everything, and soon you have no idea, are confused and not even sure if you are going anywhere or where you want to go, and even if you manage to re-orientate yourself you dont really know anymore, cause you lost that trust, you lost that belif, and all of a suddent the one way street is a highway with exits and 4 lanes each way....and you cant see a thing cause you left your glasses, and everything is a blur, so you start to think instinctivly and thats when you get in the real shit. Cause i trust my instincts for things about me, but when you have to trust your instinct's on how others will interpret and decipher your actions, you are fucked. cause they have a different mental collective then you do, and you can never ever think that they have the same associations as you do and the same thought proccess...so you are out there on the road, not sure where to get off, so you ask for directions, and as usual you get 5 people with 5 diferent routes on how to get to the destination, and all of a sudden it comes back to you. This is my life. My trip. My time. And im never going to get it back. You say screw it, i know its wrong, and i know that my judgement is clouded and wrong and it wont help me out right now, but its mine. and thats the best i got. cause im me, and if i fuck it all up, at least i fucked it up on my terms, doing it how i best thought to do it. and i will never have a moment of doubt or regret in my mind and blame another and say 'why did i lisen to him'.....and that to me is PRICELESS
