here goes nothing
and again i shall try to restart this blog buisness, and i hope that by now i really have no audience...for really the only reason i dont do this in a journal is that i dont like the art of actually writing, my hand tends to hurt after a little while and im quite lazy. to those who know me that is nothing new.
so what is new, well that is a fairly open ended question that really cannot be answered honestly, nor will it be, and concisely. However due to the fact that this is my space, and that i have full say, making me in effect, god of this page, i can live with the fact that its not answered concisely nor honestly.
the new school term has started, and i happen to be a senior, im that elite class of student who is lazier then anything you can imagine, i am right before graduation, and i have no motivation, my major is done, all i am working on now is bullshit classes. and that my friends is a lovely thing, cept that the bullshit classes happen to be like work intensive, not brain intensive. which is always my forte. naturally i was depressed upon re entering school over the summer as most of my friends are gone, as i like to say they were shipped back to whence they came from. so it becomes a whole new thing, there is no routine to fall back into, there is no more for sures. no more pre-gaming tuesdays at klemens before hooligans, no more pre-gaming at klemens on thursdays before the groove, or pawnshop, no more juliane, klemen, jose, simone, and myself, screaming at random songs at friars. No more drinking 6 pitchers between hakan and myself at friars. no more lisening to david talk about my life or anyone else but his from his vantage point of 5 ft. no more spanish/austrian house. no more sangria parties. no more watching inigo eat a whole box of cereal from a giant salad bowl, and afterwards cook 2 steaks cuase he is still hungry. no more yurdi screaming geil. no more emu getting drunk as shit and hitting on anything that moves. no more jose calling me at 1 am telling me he just finished dinner and that he is on his way. no more. no more.
but rather then wallow in the no mores, i went to a pizza party, ran into my favorite administarator at UM, Ms Resnick, and she by virtue of the story i had just told her, decided that since last year i did not do what she wanted me to do, be a tour guide, i should do it this year. and she dropped me off at a table with 4 very distinct girls. and i wasnt one to complain. 3 weeks later. it has been a trip. it feels like it has been months, yet it hasnt even begun.
then she happened. and one night was enough, to enthrall me. to make me a puppy. to leave me in some weird and nervous state. making me care. for a person who prides himself on being able to minimalize and block out his emotions so they dont interfer with his life on a daily basis, this is no good. instead of being able to focus on having a good time doing what im doing, i wonder where she might be. making me care. not cool. i always say that i have one weakness, and its two fold, it overwhelms me, while at the same time enthralling and encapturing me fully. 'Careful where you stand' seems to be my motto at the moment.
i have also been reading alot lately, as i feel that i need stimulation that i have not been provided by any of my friends, as there is a lack of a person to have an engaging debate about nothing, thats really about everything. so i have turned to books, and i as often is the case, have realized i love reading, it really makes time stop for me. my urge to absorb the knowledge contained within is all encompassing.
and so since this whole issue began with post started out with honsety, i will now comment that despite my earlier disclaimer i have been honest, though i may not have elaborated to a fully degree some opinions or feelings, for the chance that someone might still read this and identify the author.
so what is new, well that is a fairly open ended question that really cannot be answered honestly, nor will it be, and concisely. However due to the fact that this is my space, and that i have full say, making me in effect, god of this page, i can live with the fact that its not answered concisely nor honestly.
the new school term has started, and i happen to be a senior, im that elite class of student who is lazier then anything you can imagine, i am right before graduation, and i have no motivation, my major is done, all i am working on now is bullshit classes. and that my friends is a lovely thing, cept that the bullshit classes happen to be like work intensive, not brain intensive. which is always my forte. naturally i was depressed upon re entering school over the summer as most of my friends are gone, as i like to say they were shipped back to whence they came from. so it becomes a whole new thing, there is no routine to fall back into, there is no more for sures. no more pre-gaming tuesdays at klemens before hooligans, no more pre-gaming at klemens on thursdays before the groove, or pawnshop, no more juliane, klemen, jose, simone, and myself, screaming at random songs at friars. No more drinking 6 pitchers between hakan and myself at friars. no more lisening to david talk about my life or anyone else but his from his vantage point of 5 ft. no more spanish/austrian house. no more sangria parties. no more watching inigo eat a whole box of cereal from a giant salad bowl, and afterwards cook 2 steaks cuase he is still hungry. no more yurdi screaming geil. no more emu getting drunk as shit and hitting on anything that moves. no more jose calling me at 1 am telling me he just finished dinner and that he is on his way. no more. no more.
but rather then wallow in the no mores, i went to a pizza party, ran into my favorite administarator at UM, Ms Resnick, and she by virtue of the story i had just told her, decided that since last year i did not do what she wanted me to do, be a tour guide, i should do it this year. and she dropped me off at a table with 4 very distinct girls. and i wasnt one to complain. 3 weeks later. it has been a trip. it feels like it has been months, yet it hasnt even begun.
then she happened. and one night was enough, to enthrall me. to make me a puppy. to leave me in some weird and nervous state. making me care. for a person who prides himself on being able to minimalize and block out his emotions so they dont interfer with his life on a daily basis, this is no good. instead of being able to focus on having a good time doing what im doing, i wonder where she might be. making me care. not cool. i always say that i have one weakness, and its two fold, it overwhelms me, while at the same time enthralling and encapturing me fully. 'Careful where you stand' seems to be my motto at the moment.
i have also been reading alot lately, as i feel that i need stimulation that i have not been provided by any of my friends, as there is a lack of a person to have an engaging debate about nothing, thats really about everything. so i have turned to books, and i as often is the case, have realized i love reading, it really makes time stop for me. my urge to absorb the knowledge contained within is all encompassing.
"We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them... but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love..."
and so since this whole issue began with post started out with honsety, i will now comment that despite my earlier disclaimer i have been honest, though i may not have elaborated to a fully degree some opinions or feelings, for the chance that someone might still read this and identify the author.
posted by Lav at Sunday, September 10, 2006
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