And so it is
Well i feel that it has been long enough now that i have removed the link to this from my AIM profile and that i have not updated it long enough so that there are no readers any more...which is good, and something i have desired for a while now.
So it has been an intresting last few weeks, and to be honest a starting point is not easily chosen, as one can imagine, everything has changed, and so much for bono's emphatic ' Nothing changes
On New Year's Day.'
So i should do this in relevancy but then that would be showing my hand and i refuse to do so. So it will be arbitrary, in such a way that i randomly pick and reject at my choosing so as that no pattern of thoughts or emotions can be assumed or detected.
The car has finally arrived, it took time, yelling, screaming, and too many wasted cellphone minutes, but it has arrived. It is a beautiful shade of Blue, a light, almost lightish hue. It has without question the sexiest posterior in the neighbourhood. I cannot really describe how happy i am driving it, it is amazing, the smoothness, though this is occasionally disturbed by my overeagerness to release the clutch, which we shall put down to inexperience. But the car is magnificent, and shall be enshrined here with a picture as soon as im done with this hell start to the week, and no the word hell has no bearing on the rest of this post or the events which have happened but rather the two exams (one to go) that i am facing on monday and tuesday.
I have also entered into a new phase of my relationship with Luna, a lovely stage i might add, it consists of largely ignoring her presence in a room, and mostly her comments, though im trying to get better at ignoring those, it is quite irksome to hear her dribble when it relates to me. But i must say ignoring coaches and parents while reffing is quite similar, though i have yet not felt the need to punch a coach or a parent as much as i have to smack her upside the head, i am quite sure that time will cure me of that lack. This originates way back, and i guess you could say is the final culmination in a long long feud that would abate and then be restored, but its roots lie in the planning of the euro trip, and its strongest feelings come from moments in Croatia, and others back home. In no way do i presume my actions are noble or even semi-decent, no they are not, however, proudly i might add, i can at least say that i am not as dispicable as her, i will never get my joy from someone else's misery, it is beyond my comprehension to actually glow in the unhappiness of my enemies(for lack of a better word). Yet this is not the case in vice versa, and that perhaps is why i find her so revolting, though if i am wrong and the following is not true, despite it being in accordance with her actions, then i take it back and de-scale my claim of finding Luna revolting down to mere annoyance at her. She gets her joy, infact it is her biggest source of happiness, when i am upset, when something goes wrong for me, or when it appears to her that i do not know something. She revels in this, she smirks that evil smirk you read in books, and can envision perfectly and yet you could never believe it to be so real, that it actually exsits in someone you know, that power, cause that is what it is, it is a power to be happy when others are unhappy, purely becasue they are unhappy. That is courage, though undaunting, but ultimately useless. Where will this lead to, i cannot say i really know, nor can i see a way out of it, it is a broken sibling bond.
So here is the news that seems to be buzzing, despite no one ever calling or saying anything directly to you, well save for one person, but i have always held them to a higher standard and there are reasons why i would trust them beyond the rest. It is that whisper in the wind, that you cannot grasp and yet it is bellowing beside you. To satisfy's the curiosity, stories will spread, each with its own style. What can you expect though, everyone i know seems to lack the spine to ask directly, everyone is timid.
Though to be honest i am rather cheerful as i write this, i am down one exam, wearing the most beautfiul shirt in the world, that just arrived last night. Procrastinating before i begin the studying for the second one, and generally immune to the world, and the events around me, i filter out the negative's and it is just so easy to focus and to be alert.
"And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time"
So it has been an intresting last few weeks, and to be honest a starting point is not easily chosen, as one can imagine, everything has changed, and so much for bono's emphatic ' Nothing changes
On New Year's Day.'
So i should do this in relevancy but then that would be showing my hand and i refuse to do so. So it will be arbitrary, in such a way that i randomly pick and reject at my choosing so as that no pattern of thoughts or emotions can be assumed or detected.
The car has finally arrived, it took time, yelling, screaming, and too many wasted cellphone minutes, but it has arrived. It is a beautiful shade of Blue, a light, almost lightish hue. It has without question the sexiest posterior in the neighbourhood. I cannot really describe how happy i am driving it, it is amazing, the smoothness, though this is occasionally disturbed by my overeagerness to release the clutch, which we shall put down to inexperience. But the car is magnificent, and shall be enshrined here with a picture as soon as im done with this hell start to the week, and no the word hell has no bearing on the rest of this post or the events which have happened but rather the two exams (one to go) that i am facing on monday and tuesday.
I have also entered into a new phase of my relationship with Luna, a lovely stage i might add, it consists of largely ignoring her presence in a room, and mostly her comments, though im trying to get better at ignoring those, it is quite irksome to hear her dribble when it relates to me. But i must say ignoring coaches and parents while reffing is quite similar, though i have yet not felt the need to punch a coach or a parent as much as i have to smack her upside the head, i am quite sure that time will cure me of that lack. This originates way back, and i guess you could say is the final culmination in a long long feud that would abate and then be restored, but its roots lie in the planning of the euro trip, and its strongest feelings come from moments in Croatia, and others back home. In no way do i presume my actions are noble or even semi-decent, no they are not, however, proudly i might add, i can at least say that i am not as dispicable as her, i will never get my joy from someone else's misery, it is beyond my comprehension to actually glow in the unhappiness of my enemies(for lack of a better word). Yet this is not the case in vice versa, and that perhaps is why i find her so revolting, though if i am wrong and the following is not true, despite it being in accordance with her actions, then i take it back and de-scale my claim of finding Luna revolting down to mere annoyance at her. She gets her joy, infact it is her biggest source of happiness, when i am upset, when something goes wrong for me, or when it appears to her that i do not know something. She revels in this, she smirks that evil smirk you read in books, and can envision perfectly and yet you could never believe it to be so real, that it actually exsits in someone you know, that power, cause that is what it is, it is a power to be happy when others are unhappy, purely becasue they are unhappy. That is courage, though undaunting, but ultimately useless. Where will this lead to, i cannot say i really know, nor can i see a way out of it, it is a broken sibling bond.
So here is the news that seems to be buzzing, despite no one ever calling or saying anything directly to you, well save for one person, but i have always held them to a higher standard and there are reasons why i would trust them beyond the rest. It is that whisper in the wind, that you cannot grasp and yet it is bellowing beside you. To satisfy's the curiosity, stories will spread, each with its own style. What can you expect though, everyone i know seems to lack the spine to ask directly, everyone is timid.
Though to be honest i am rather cheerful as i write this, i am down one exam, wearing the most beautfiul shirt in the world, that just arrived last night. Procrastinating before i begin the studying for the second one, and generally immune to the world, and the events around me, i filter out the negative's and it is just so easy to focus and to be alert.
"And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time"
posted by Lav at Monday, November 21, 2005
9 Comments:
you ok?
...lol
haha its funny how you say you wish that knowone would read your blog and that it be more of a personal entry and then you follow up that line with a long standing fight and some of the juciest gossip imaginable. It makes it hard for anyone to believe your first statement.
And Luna who laughs and enjoys your misery also happens to be the one whose usually there when you need her even though you and your pride/stubborness will not be the first to admit it. And perhaps thats why she enjoys your failures as they remind you that you Lav are also human and not perfect and that perhaps there is nothing wrong in accepting that fact. That you do not know everything and that there is nothing wrong in admitting it.
Your entry while it attempts to describe the fight it does not do it justice. The fight is more personal than you yourself admit, and if you chose to tell the story online in public for your audience you might as well tell it as it is.
If your not prepared to do it then it is not worth mentioning and raising more questions.
to the anonymous commenter who feels to ashamed to list his name:
just cause i post what goes on in my life does not mean i like everyone reading it, there is a reason i removed it from AIM and Facebook(after remembering that it was on there) and why i did not write for ages, so that everyone would ignore it.
juciest gossip imaginable? what something you dont know? the fight? the car? or what...please....gossip my ass, it is my goddamn life, not something you classify as gossip especially when i write about, really takes balls to say that.
So laughing and indulging in someones misery's is cool as long as it makes the other person human, what line of thinking is that? where does that drivel come from? and what its nice to revel in when someone isnt happy since it proves that yes even they can be happy. clap. clap. clap.
Me knowing everything has nothing to do with this, and is just a personal comment you wanted to throw in, though why i dont know.
"Online in public for [my] audience" .....right.....i have already gone through this.
The fight is more personal? really....your're telling me, a second hand source....enlightening....
as for what i might find worthy of mention that is my own buisness since this is MY OWN BLOG, not your's, her's or anyone else's and as such i can write what i please, and how i feel.
All in all a comment which is devoid of reason, logic or the attempted partisanship, which is wrapped up in a one sided view that was sealed long ago.
dani no comment is unbiased...and if you choose to make one make sure you pick your words carefully and that you know the full story before you make your assumptions...
props on the drama...very effective
i'm sorry but as long as you have this blog up and running, who ever reads it will make it their business. gossip!! i love how the most personal post gets the most attention. maybe that DOES makes me another who dwells in the dark, and feeds on the misery of others. thats one hell of an accusation guy but thanks, its one more thing me and luna have in common.
i dont know how some people take words way out of context and take them personaly. not taking sides, please. we all have loyalties but shit now i'm a lil punk who watched hurricane katrina tear up new orleans with extacy?? haha thats beyond inhuman and beyond fucked up for anyone to tell me that.
we all know who you're both refering too. ever since the end of the summer we've all had our opinions on the feelings of alex gray. lav made sure we all knew his. from simple, based accusations of favoritism to now saying i have a similar joy of watching people fail. more specifcally you. wtf?? "personal?" this is beyond personal, if you think you know me enought to label me you better thing again. just because i have more sympathy for her doesnt mean you can call me shit you have no idea about. its always the same with you. you start off "just joking" then get deep with this shit. "personal." haha and you wonder why i'm sensitive when You mention her name. its cus you always add in your 2 cents when the fucking jar is full. the next time i dont hang out with you, think before you sum me up as Sir Sellout, lunas potsmoking knight in shining armor to my friends. again think, and maybe you'll understand a bit of why i sell you out.
haha i just want to say, fucking bullshit.
-gray
i also didnt write the first anonymous post asshole.
Well
from what i could gather, and dani also who read this of her own accord withouth me mentioning anything we both came to the conclusion that it was alex who posted it.
and i never said u enjoy others misery, or anything, i only commented that on my sister, and even there i put a discloser that this is how her actions depict her and it could be wrong.
the only thing i attacked to anonymous1 was his comment on me being always right....whoever posted that comment took a lame cheap shot.
i apologize for assuming it was you, though not without doubt....however at no point did i insult you in any way, unl;ike anonymous1 who attempted to call me out on several subjects for no reason but personal bitterness.
as for my comments regarding mr alex gray and my thoughts on him....i have never called you "Sir Sellout, lunas potsmoking knight in shining armor to my friends" to any of your friends....so get past it man....nor did i call you shit...
verga chamo...la drama...lol
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